cause it to ebb and flow. Everyday stresses with work, kids,
schedules, and household tasks are bound to takeits toll on sex. With
all the things that can preclude intimate moments together with your
lover, let's tackle some of the issues that may come up during the
encounters.
Last week I took on my own gender and the mistakes men can make during
sex. Now it's the ladies turn.
And another word of warning, this post continues the "gutsy" approach
to the topic by addressing things honestly. Adults only please.
1. Trading in hot momma for mommy.Motherhooddoes not make you
celibate. Unless that is your conscious choice. While the rigors of
being a mom can impact your sexual desires,it most likely
doesn'textinguishit. You needto nurture your sex life. Leave him and
yourself little notes to discover during the day. Wear
somethingsexyunder your normal childcare uniformor business attire.
Dosomethingthat helpsyou remember you are a sexual goddess.
Research has found that a happy and healthymarriageis the best
thingyou can dofor your children.
2. Unresponsiveness in the sack.Sex with a corpse is not agoodthing.
Don'tjust lie there. Get involved. Move. Makesome noise. Ifsex isn't
pleasurable for you, what'smissing? Try different positions,or
locations throughout the house. Whatever ignites things for you.
3. Not speakingupor being direct.Similar to men, womencan fall victim
to the ideathat your partner will know or sense what'sgoing onwith
you. If somethingis going onyou don'tenjoy, speak up. While it
maydampen the mood, when you're honest and communicate your needs, you
get the chance to experience evenmore during sex together.Also, if
heinquires about sex, behonest.There'sa big difference between
sayingflat out "no" and "not at the moment, but I could beenticed."
4. Not owningyour own body.What most menfind as a lasting turn-onmore
thananythingis how a womancarries herself. Her confidence. If you are
always down onyour body, you can dosomethingabout itbyworkingout ifyou
want. But one thingyou can for sure dois learn to embrace the skin
you're in. Walk aroundnaked. Havesex with the lights on. Whenyou own
your own body, you can flaunt one of your biggest assets,you!
5. Forgetting your feminineside.There are many roles womenhavethrust
uponthem today. Caretaker, mother, business woman,
boss,manager,chauffeur, nurturer.One of the main roles sometimes lost
in our society is that of Eve. The last of God'screations! The
manifestationof God'sbeauty!Womenare beautifully and wonderfully made.
Don'tforget that Eve is the beauty in the story of life. Carryyourself
as such,and don'tsettle for being seenas less.
6. Insecurity towards other women.Similar to not owningyour own body,
being constantly threatenedbyother womenis not attractive. Remember
your husband chose you, so focus your energies onkeeping hiseyes
onyou. Learn to seduce him, tease him, tempt him.
7. Fear of your erotic nature.Manywomenmayfear if theyare erotic,
they'll come across as slutty or cheap. That maybejust what hewants at
times! Havethe courage to letgoonce in a while. Beerotic. Playto
hisvisual nature.Makehim notice you. Get ontop during sex. Takecharge.
As the Usher songstates,be"a ladyin the street but afreak in the bed."
A commonthought is that menare led bytwo brains.Don'tforget about
hisnorthern brain.
8. Not going down.There are some coupleswhofear oral sex. If you
don'tlike going down onyour husband and hewants you to,haveyou talked
about it? Share your thoughts,listen to his. Are there other things
you could do? Sure there are, but blindly hopingtheyhappenusually
isn't goodfor both of you. Speak up.
Incidentally, if you dogodown, noteeth please!
9. Failure to initiate.The number one complaint I hear from menis this
issueof theirwife not initiating sexual encounters. Perhaps this is
due to some of the other points previously made, or
somethingdifferent.When you're interested in sex, letit beknown.
Evenif he's at work, sendhim anemail disclosing what'sonyour mind.
10. Slow down.Just like the advice for the men, slow down. Takeyour
time together.Enjoy the moments you havetogether.